99 Problems...

So recently I've found myself facing a new adversary/enemy/evil. No it's not the scale, it's something entirely different and completely upsetting.  All of a sudden last month my hair started falling out, a LOT and I'll admit it's been pretty crappy dealing with it.  I'm fairly certain it's a combo of stress and hormonal imbalance but whatever the frack is doing this, ima 'bout ready to lose my ever-loving-mind....

It's not like I'm some paunchy, middle aged man who can accept this sort of thing as just being part of life.

 A 30-something woman losing her hair is not OK. 

The hair gods have been cruel to me, and this seems like their latest prank. I already have thin, fine hair and am no stranger to using every thickening, volumizing and strengthening hair product ever created.  EVER CREATED.

(Now before you start asking if the hair loss is related to my latest diet, I'd have to disagree because though I joke about "being hangry and starving" I'm certainly not. I'm following Weight Watchers, and losing in a slow and sensible way.)  

The hair loss started before my latest diet so I doubt there's any link. I've had my thyroid and iron levels tested and everything seems ok. So this leaves me feeling even more bummed because I don't exactly know the cause of this hair loss???

I've got a referral to a dermatologist next month to check out the problem further (telogen effluvium- is what it's called) and I've already shelled out plenty for the latest products that claim to prevent hair loss...and I'll admit I've borrowed my dad's Rogaine...since my family doctor said that's exactly what the Dermo will prescribe anyway!

Seriously? Ugh.

So my question is, have any of you ever experienced sudden hair loss (other than post-pregnancy) and if so, how did you not lose your mind?!?!  Did your hair come back and how long did it fall out for?

 Feeling NOT so 

Mama's Hangry...

Around this time every year in January I'm usually at a point in my annual "Massive Weight Loss 2012" program, that I'm ready to tear off the limb of the person next to me, splash a little Tabasco sauce on it, chew on it and call it a day.

I am hangrrryyy, which by definition, is one step up from starving. I have a pounding headache from eating barely any carbs and I've taken snarkiness to a whole new level in this house.

But it's all in the name of thinness.

Behold my current thinspiration... I've taken the liberty of pointing out some of JHud's best attributes.

Lord knows her face is everywhere right now and every third ad on TV is one of her Weight Watcher commercials.

Nothing wrong with that...it keeps my eye on the prize!

Since half of my friends are on some sort of diet right now, I think we can all relate to wanting to look a whole lot more like Jennifer.

But in the words of my friend Jaimie in a recent text convo, Jennifer best be on the up and up and not be hiding any "procedures" or super secret Hollywood diet voodoo...

{Come on, you gotta admit that something else is going on with her cheeks, maybe a little lift here and there?}

So I don't have the luxury of doing anything other than busting my (ample) butt in the gym and counting Weight Watcher points like all the other ordinary shmoes. 

But who else is with me?

If you're hungry and you know it start to cry clap yo' hands!

End of an era...goodbye gel nails?

So after 12 long years Mama has decided to give up on gel nails. 

In 1999 at my first big-girl job straight out of university, all the women in the office had gel nails...they caught my eye instantly. They looked clean, professional and dare I say a bit glamorous?  I was hooked and have had a love-affair with nails for years now.  

I've always kept them short, square-oval shaped and simple (no Lady Gaga dagger shaped nails here).

However after 12 years of consecutive wear - as in I've never had them off, I've finally decided to take a break.

via

Will I go back to them? I'm not sure, they're hard to let go of. My own nails have always been pitiful. They're ridiculously soft and paper thin. As in the kind of nail that you can bend back and forth, peels and never really grows worth a darn. And no amount of strengthening top-coat would ever help, thanks for NOTHING Sally Hansen...

So last Saturday when I took them off (I was in desperate need of a fill anyway) I decided to let my own nails "breath."  It's a myth that gel or acrylic nails will wreck your own nails, if they're properly applied the nail underneath may grow a bit thinner but they won't be damaged. So now my natural naked little nails look fine. But it's not fine.

{Srsly Gaga, how do u get through the day with those...}

The problem is that I cannot function. I feel like I'm all thumbs! I miss the strength my gel nails had. They were like little tools to help open containers, scrape food residue off dishes that didn't come clean from the dishwasher (gross, I know) and I always felt my hands were strong and capable.

Not anymore.

Now my fingertips hurt, I can't open my eyeshadow palettes, can't get the lid off the coffee tin without it hurting. I could go on and on.  I suppose I'll adjust and my hands will "toughen up" with time but for now I'm dying! (First World Problem, I know...)

So what to do? Should I go back to dropping $35.00 for a fill every 4 weeks or should I put my gel nails behind me?  When you paint gel nails the color lasts forever, they always look polished and they make my fingers look longer and even thinner.

(maybe I'm delusional here?)

Gel nails, yay or nay? Speak!

Can school start tomorrow please?!

We are back home to Canada finally! After a great summer in Europe I'm beyond happy to be home and back to reality.  School starts on the first of September and Kid #1 is starting grade one and Kid #2 is starting pre-school. I'd by lying if I said I wasn't totally pumped to see them heading out the door. This summer has been fun but they have been driving me bat-shit crazy.  Potty training our little guy has been a bit of a poop-filled nightmare (read: total fail) and if I have to hear them fight over one more game of Angry Birds or Fruit Ninja I'm going to lose my mind. (Though games are obviously a great babysitter. Fact.)

{little gifts from above..}

Traveling with children is never easy and when it involves long flights (9 hours to Germany and 3 more to Athens) it's guaranteed to test your patience.  To be fair to the kids we're the ones that are hauling them over to the other side of the world for weeks on end. They're just kids being kids. And if they act out, cry, fight and generally make our lives miserable difficult it's because that's just how boys can be.

{Typical facial expression of Kid #2...a total sweetie}

 I try to remember that but when I see two little girls (sisters the same age as my boys) sitting one row behind us on our 9 hour flight home, who were quietly colouring, playing on their iPad and with their Barbies for the entire flight, it kinda makes me wish that my kids weren't total hooligans. The mother of these girls was able to watch movies, slept and basically looked like she was having no problem passing the hours. Meanwhile our kids are fighting, crying, asking to go the bathroom 16 times, throwing crayons and play-dough balls down the isle -while demanding we entertain them like freaking clowns. 

It was exhausting and redonkulous all at the same time.  

Sometimes I seriously wish I had little girls...yeah I just said that.

Alright rant over. Now I'll suppose you'll tell me how girls aren't all sunshine and rainbows but I'll never believe it. Girls are amazing. Boys make me lose my mind. 

End of story.

images via google

It's the final countdown...

Yup, it IS the final countdown and no I'm not talking about the "Rapture" end of world type thing.

It's the final countdown for massive weight loss before our annual summer vacation to the sunny beaches of Greece. Cue 80's rock band "Europe" and their 'epic' rock anthem of the same name, "The Final Countdown."...

Ok so is the tune playing in your head now? Let that set the scene for you.

 Mama is waging all out war with these 10 lbs I've gained over our long never ending winter. 

Health and fitness will prevail as the beach takes no prisoners. 

We've got too many important events coming up that require mama to not appear as a stuffed frankfurter in a cocktail dress. All the Spanx in the world can't help that much...

The only option when executing tactical warfare is to bring out the big guns.  No carbs.

more non-subliminal imagery by Mama

Don't worry, I'm not going all Atkins on you and eliminating anything with even a trace of sugar. I'm still eating plenty of vegetables and fruits, including lots of fresh berry's.

But I will say that I've eaten more eggs, nuts, bacon, turkey burgers, lettuce, and full fat salad dressing in the last week than in the last 3 years combined. 

The fact is that I actually lose weight when I cut out my beloved carbs. AND IT'S SO HARD. Pasta, wine and bread actually bring me joy. I'm no heavy meat eater so giving up carbs seems unnatural.

But based on the blood type diet by Peter D'Adamo, Eat Right 4 Your Type, according to my blood type which is O, I should basically become a carnivore. 

Blood type O is believed to be the earliest human blood group. Directly descended from the cavemen. 

mama's ancestor, Great Uncle Eats-no-carbs

Here the "prescribed" diet is low-carb, high in meat and fish, low in dairy. And type O's should work out like a Mofo. 

So no carbs and lot's of exercise eh? This is sounding pretty basic to me. I think just about anybody would lose weight this way. Thankfully I've spent no money on this book/diet plan. 

So far things seems to be working pretty well, I'm down a few pounds and not feeling hungry at all.

BUT

My birthday is tomorrow, my son's birthday party is on Saturday, and we have a Baptism and party to attend on Sunday, then another birthday celebration on Sunday nite. 

It's going to be a cake/wine/desserts carb-fest.

But this is war, and the beach doesn't care how good that cupcake tastes. Am I right?

This post is what my blogs name is all about.

images via google

Now u know me....

Hey Dolls, hope you're all enjoying this Easter long weekend.  I've got a whole bunch of church, cooking, family dinners, egg colouring (and hunting) and chocolate eating coming my way.   

This week has been all things Easter but I thought I'd do a different post on some random info about Mama.  It's not because of receiving a blog award (like most people do) but instead because this has a been a fairly slow news week and I've got nothing else...

1.  I can talk like Donald Duck.  Great "skill" to have when babysitting.

2.  I love French's yellow mustard and go through a bottle every 10 days. Best condiment ever.

3.  I'm a pretty awesome (and fast) driver and in another life I should have been a Formula 1 race car driver. 

But since I've had kids I've totally changed the way I drive and now have a huge new appreciation for driving safely and responsibly. These days I'm more like Morgan Freeman in Driving Miss Daisy than Michael Schumacher.

Fastness. Hotness.

Note: I said Formula 1 driver, not NASCAR.  

NASCAR is beyond lame. Sorry Ricky Bobby Fans.

Round and round. Uncool.

4. I can type up to 83 words/minute (according to typing tests I've taken) however my accuracy/spelling could use work. Obviously.

5. I am a great cook but a lousy baker. Baking requires precise measurements and it's like following a formula. Cooking is more free-style and dare I say, creative.  

 I don't have much of a sweet tooth and I never had an Easy Bake Oven as a kid.  That explains it. 

6. I am blind as a bat. I've worn contact lenses everyday for 20 years. I really should have laser eye surgery but I'm scared.  What if something goes wrong and my eyesight gets worse? Though I doubt that's possible.

7. I have a pretty fantastic Operatic voice (Mezzo-Soprano) but more or less no one has ever heard it. I'm ridiculously self-conscious about being judged. 

I'm even scared to sing Karaoke after a half a dozen cocktails.

 Mama's dream Karaoke song of choice: Roberta Flack/Lauyn Hill's, Killing me Softly

This list could have gone on forever but I'll save more Mama-fun-facts for another time.

Happy Easter Lovelies!

Winter blah blah's....part deux

Spring has most definitely not `sprung` where we live.  In fact these pics from last week pretty much tell the tale. The stores are filled with gorgeous spring clothes, shoes and bathing suits etc. and honestly I can't even wrap my mind around wearing them anytime soon. It all that seems a million miles away right now. As awesome as a foot of snow in April is, I'm really over it.  

The kids thought the massive snow fall was fantastic. I disagreed. 

Since bikini season is still so far away (at least I keep telling myself that) I`m still all about carb loading cooking hearty, satisfying dinners.  BBQ`s, fresh salads and watermelon are sadly not on the menu. (Possibly because our BBQ is buried under the snow.)

Beef Stroganoff with cream cheese, sour cream and white wine.  I might be fearing the beach because of this stuff...

On a brighter note, the kind weather-woman on the local evening news says that ``spring-like`` conditions and seasonally (warmer) temperatures are on their way this week. Bring it on bitch, mama needs to see the light of day...

Hopefully the sun is shining, tulips are popping and flippy-floppy`s are being worn where you live...

_______________________________________________________________________________

Update on my Sally Hansen Salon Effects Nail Polish Strips

 Cue: shock and amazement. These nail strips actually held up. Except for some minor peeling at the cuticle, the last pic was taken after 8 days of wear! I`m thinking they`re worth the 10 dollars after all...

Before

After 
8 Days...not too shabby Ms. Sally Hansen!

Though I`m getting really tired of Houndstooth...

Winter blah blah's....

Unfortunately Mama has been suffering from my annual bout with "The Winter Blah Blah's", also know as "I hate you January" and "winter can suck it."  I certainly don't have Seasonal Affective Disorder but the combo of super cold weather, minimal sunny days and months before spring arrives makes me want to act like a grizzly bear and hibernate. No jokes. I'd like to fast forward through this bunk time of the year and jump directly into spring.  I've upped my vitamin D intake, increased my workouts at the gym and tried to stay active. But all I really want to do is not much of anything. I went to the mall for the first time in weeks (which is total craziness) because normally it's my home away from home. 

 I really haven't had much desire to shop lately. Shock and horror.

{Though on Friday I did manage to grab these cute nude Nine West pumps. Someday when I can pry the snow covered UGGS off of my feet I'll be able to wear them. Someday...}

 I go to bed at a decent hour and I'm still tired when I wake up which is super annoying. Where has my energy gone? It's obviously time to start drinking double Red-bulls in the morning because coffee is no longer cutting it.

This time last year we were packing our bags for Hawaii but sadly it's not in the cards this winter. Boo.

 I seriously think that winter vay-cays to sunny destinations should be MANDATORY for people living this far north. Mandatory and Government subsidized.  Sounds like a brilliant idea to me.

January, I'm sooo over you. 

Like a wild animal....

Two year old Kid #2 is on a mission to drive Mama completely nut-so. While shopping the other day at Zellers (like the Canadian version of Target), he refused to sit in the cart, tried to launch himself out of the shopping cart and continually tossed away what I tried to buy. (Maybe this is a new way to save ca$h?) 

 If I steered the cart too close to the shelves he'd grab anything he could get his hands on. Like a toddler-style bull in a China shop. 

I'd suppose it would be kinda amusing to someone watching it all go down....a grown woman trying to wrestle away a pair of rubber boots, pack of paper plates, bag of gummi bears, etc. etc. away from a 2 year old animal boy who's trying to grab every and anything.  But it's not funny.  It makes me want to start drinking wine. Alone. Everyday. 

Meanwhile, lady #1, 2 and 3 in line to pay thought that it was funny and cute when kid threw out of the cart and shattered on the ground in the isle a jar of strawberry jam and then followed it by tossing ON TOP of  jam/broken glass the pair of pajamas I was "trying" to buy. Guess I didn't really need those PJ's....

So the next time you see a Mama trying to "manage" her child, don't chuckle. Have pity, give a smile of understanding (and not a goofy, dumb-arse smirk) and know that someday that could be you. Karma's a bitch yo.

Should you be wondering what Kid #2 looks like, I've enclosed some I.D. shots to help better identify him....

 {Kid #2, also known as "The Octopus"}

{Kid #2, occasionally appears as "The Spider Monkey"}

...and we're back!

The wait is over kids, Mama and the crew are back from the sunny hot beaches of broke-ass Greece!!  We had a fabulous time (as always) but of course I'm so so soooooo glad to be back! Five weeks away from home is always a long time, no matter how great the place you go to is....

Don't be fooled by this pic of calm family togetherness. This has NOT been an easy trip. Traveling with a 2 and 5 year old (boys) is almost like asking for a big plate of "pain" with a side of "why did I ever leave my house in the first place?"

We loved the trip overall but I'll be sure to fill you all in on our ups (great nightlife) and downs (2 year old waking up everyday at 5 am).

Let's begin with our fresh hell plane ride over the 'pond'..

Kid #2 started the traveling day with his first, official, all out, no holds barred TANTRUM of the century while we were waiting to board the plane. Never mind that I'm trying to juggle passports, sippy cups and stollers, he decides this is a great time to go ape-shit and try and take us all down with him.  It was not a good omen for the rest of the flight.  He then proceeds to "unload some of his own baggage" just as we're about to take our seats. Why why WHY do kids insist of pooping at the most inconvenient times??

I deserve a prize for changing the nasty diaper in the tiniest airplane bathroom on earth. Just saying. 

We then had the pleasure of having our seats directly above the wings of the plane. The low, loud, vibrations from the engines did NOT act to sooth us to sleep but instead drove us close insanity because I could feel the rattling right through to my teeth.  Must be similar to living above a subway line??!

Kid #2 went on to yell/hit/cry for most of the flight (10 1/2 hours thanks to a mechanical delay) and decided that one and half hours of sleep (waking up 4 times to wail) is more than enough "sleep" during the whole flight. Guaranteed the people sitting around us wanted Kid #2 dead. 

All the while Mama is having kittens because I was fairly positive we would miss our connecting flight to Athens thanks to the delay. Once we touched ground in Frankfurt I literally whipped and dragged the kids (and Husband) through security, passport control and finally made it to our gate....and by the Grace of God we were on time for our next 3 hour flight. 

 

{Note Kid #2's pained expression. This was his look while on the plane for 10 1/2 hours. The ENTIRE time}

When we arrived at our home outside of Athens we were greeted by 22 people over for dinner at OUR house. YES, 22 people. No I didn't have to cook, and as much as I loved seeing many of our relatives as soon as we arrived, after over 15 hours of travel time I was not in the mood to entertain and do dishes. But that's what we got...  This was the beginning of many huge family dinners at our house.

Last night here at home I cooked dinner for (only) 4 people. It was awesome. 

Par-tay!

It was Kid #1's 5th Birthday on Saturday and I decided a while back that it would be a good idea to have a simple, old school style birthday party at our house and invite all his friends from school.  (Does no one have simple kids birthday parties anymore??, there's always clowns, magicians, exotic or expensive locations and apparently you have to drop at least $500 bucks. I say no, this kid is ONLY 5.)  If I'm going to pay through the nose for a party I'll at least do it when he's old enough to remember it!!

We I chose to invite boys only to keep the numbers down...it's not like I'm encouraging gender segregation at an early age, just trying to make things manageable. And believe me 12  five year old boys was MORE then enough for Mama to handle. Fortunately my two besties were able to help out with the pandemonium party fun!

{Kid #1 is five today, whaaat!?!?!)

We had a Sponge Bob/Hawaiian party theme (since Kid is still in love with Hawaii after our holiday in Oahu this winter). The kids ate pizza, plenty of candy and chips, we had a limbo-stick game and a pinata to attack for prizes inside. Good times right?,,,if you're five I guess!

Later that night since my friends were in town to celebrate my birthday too and we really needed to drink have some fun, we went out for dinner to a cute little Italian place downtown, had a couple bottles of red and continued on for drinks at a place called Mercury. 

How do you spell post kids-party relief?!  W-i-n-e.

{Wine = self portrait time}

{ Toothy-grin shot} 

The nice "gentlemen" behind us were kind enough to buy a round of vino...thanks boys, laterz!  Use them then lose them I say!!