Mama's Hangry...

Around this time every year in January I'm usually at a point in my annual "Massive Weight Loss 2012" program, that I'm ready to tear off the limb of the person next to me, splash a little Tabasco sauce on it, chew on it and call it a day.

I am hangrrryyy, which by definition, is one step up from starving. I have a pounding headache from eating barely any carbs and I've taken snarkiness to a whole new level in this house.

But it's all in the name of thinness.

Behold my current thinspiration... I've taken the liberty of pointing out some of JHud's best attributes.

Lord knows her face is everywhere right now and every third ad on TV is one of her Weight Watcher commercials.

Nothing wrong with that...it keeps my eye on the prize!

Since half of my friends are on some sort of diet right now, I think we can all relate to wanting to look a whole lot more like Jennifer.

But in the words of my friend Jaimie in a recent text convo, Jennifer best be on the up and up and not be hiding any "procedures" or super secret Hollywood diet voodoo...

{Come on, you gotta admit that something else is going on with her cheeks, maybe a little lift here and there?}

So I don't have the luxury of doing anything other than busting my (ample) butt in the gym and counting Weight Watcher points like all the other ordinary shmoes. 

But who else is with me?

If you're hungry and you know it start to cry clap yo' hands!

back in action!

Hello lovelies! It's been a while but I decided to plant my rear in front of this computer and get back to blogging regularly. We had a fantastic Christmas and New Year minus a few run-ins with the evil Norovirus (aka near-death stomach flu.) 

 We're all feeling better now and I'm looking forward to an amazing 2012. I won't lie, 2011 wasn't my favorite year (fairly poopy overall) and I wasn't sad to see it go so here's hoping that 2012 brings on many bigger and better things...

However we did attend a super fun New Year's Eve party at our friends Angela and Peters house...things got kinda crazy (in a good way) and I finally decided to pull the kids away at 3:00 am (yup, our crew parties with their kids included) and my 2 little guys would have gone all night long.

{We were ready for the big countdown}

{kid #2 might just have a minor video game addiction}

{Kid #1 got his party-on!}

{drunk Greeks are the most fun Greeks!}

Hope you all had a great New Years shared with the ones you love! 

This week was back to school and back to reality including the kick-off of 

Massive Weight Loss 2012 (an annual tradition, obviously some years are more successful than others...pfftttt.)

 I've kissed carbs, alcohol and pretty much anything that's tasty goodbye and I'm begrudgingly saying hello to the elliptical trainer. Most of my girlfriends are back on the wagon too, so I'm fairly sure Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig are laughing all the way to the bank this month. 

~Here's to a healthy, happy and skinny 2012!~

It's the final countdown...

Yup, it IS the final countdown and no I'm not talking about the "Rapture" end of world type thing.

It's the final countdown for massive weight loss before our annual summer vacation to the sunny beaches of Greece. Cue 80's rock band "Europe" and their 'epic' rock anthem of the same name, "The Final Countdown."...

Ok so is the tune playing in your head now? Let that set the scene for you.

 Mama is waging all out war with these 10 lbs I've gained over our long never ending winter. 

Health and fitness will prevail as the beach takes no prisoners. 

We've got too many important events coming up that require mama to not appear as a stuffed frankfurter in a cocktail dress. All the Spanx in the world can't help that much...

The only option when executing tactical warfare is to bring out the big guns.  No carbs.

more non-subliminal imagery by Mama

Don't worry, I'm not going all Atkins on you and eliminating anything with even a trace of sugar. I'm still eating plenty of vegetables and fruits, including lots of fresh berry's.

But I will say that I've eaten more eggs, nuts, bacon, turkey burgers, lettuce, and full fat salad dressing in the last week than in the last 3 years combined. 

The fact is that I actually lose weight when I cut out my beloved carbs. AND IT'S SO HARD. Pasta, wine and bread actually bring me joy. I'm no heavy meat eater so giving up carbs seems unnatural.

But based on the blood type diet by Peter D'Adamo, Eat Right 4 Your Type, according to my blood type which is O, I should basically become a carnivore. 

Blood type O is believed to be the earliest human blood group. Directly descended from the cavemen. 

mama's ancestor, Great Uncle Eats-no-carbs

Here the "prescribed" diet is low-carb, high in meat and fish, low in dairy. And type O's should work out like a Mofo. 

So no carbs and lot's of exercise eh? This is sounding pretty basic to me. I think just about anybody would lose weight this way. Thankfully I've spent no money on this book/diet plan. 

So far things seems to be working pretty well, I'm down a few pounds and not feeling hungry at all.

BUT

My birthday is tomorrow, my son's birthday party is on Saturday, and we have a Baptism and party to attend on Sunday, then another birthday celebration on Sunday nite. 

It's going to be a cake/wine/desserts carb-fest.

But this is war, and the beach doesn't care how good that cupcake tastes. Am I right?

This post is what my blogs name is all about.

images via google

Massive Weight Loss 2011...

Finally. Finally the sun is shining and we're having spring-like weather. I can hardly stand it!  This week I've already been out walking with the kids, playing soccer with them and hitting up the park (more outdoor activity than the last 3 months combined.)  How was I supposed to play soccer when my backyard was covered in snow until recently?

I'm turning over a new leaf. Fitness Mama is on the scene. More regular gym visits, fresh veggies, bbq'd fish and chicken, working out outside (walking and possibly even, gasp, running.) 

12 lbs to lose in 2 months. That's the goal kids. 

I've got 2 baptisms, 2 weddings and 2 showers to attend in the very near future and it's time to shed my winter fatness. 

It. is. ON.

What's my motivation? Actually I"ll take it anywhere I can get it. It seems like everyone in Hollywood is shrinking their asses and getting skinny. First there was the wave of pregnancies and now there's the weight loss epidemic. What's in the water down there?

 Mama's next y'all.

Jennifer Hudson at the Mary J.Blige Honors Awards. Girl is just getting better and better. I believe I've found my fitness role model...

"American Idol" season 6 winner Jordin Sparks is skinny now too! She's obviously feeling pretty great about herself since she tweeted this pic.  Bold move Jordin.

Hollywood funny-man Seth Rogan slimmed down for his role in the "Green Hornet"

Chubster/joker Jonah Hill has lost 30 lbs and is still losing for his roll in "21 Jump Street"

Sara Rue recently lost weight on the popular diet plan Jenny Craig. How cute is she?

Former Cosby kid and That's So Raven star, 25 year old Raven Symone has also jumped on the diet bandwagon and is looking ay-mazing.

Even the perpetual yo-yo dieter, Kirstie Alley is looking pretty darn good after losing 60 lbs, partly through her time spent on Dancing with the Stars. She admits she has another 30 to go but she's getting there.

Lord knows if 60 year old Kirstie Alley can do it then so can Mama. I'm not looking to drop 6 sizes here, just the unwelcome pounds I've gained through this ungodly long winter. 

I'm always a little shocked at how hard losing the last "10 pounds" really is. Like ridiculously challenging?

I've lost mountains of weight after my babies but I'm always stalled/stumped at around 10-15 lbs before my "goal" weight. Why why whyyy?

Enough complaints. It's go time.

images via Just Jared, Splash News, Google Images

Entertain me Vegas...

I'm leaving for Vegas in a couple days and sadly this might likely be my only winter "vacation" this season if you call Friday to Sunday a "vacation", never mind that Vegas is freezing ass currently. (I already live in the North Pole and now I'm traveling 1031 miles/1659 kilometers straight south for more cold weather? Srsly weather gods?)

I'll be fine, I'll just console myself with fabulous retail shopping and massive portions of food while dining out.

Ha! God bless America. 

So as you can tell the 10 lb. rapid weight loss plan didn't really come together since I'm already talking about Vegas food binges, though I have been trying to eat well for the last few days. Honestly!

We're going again because Husband is on business at the huge CES Consumer Electronics show. So basically Vegas will be a techie-geek-mecca while we're there. And since I only pretend to be interested in the tech show (for Husbands benefit) I'll be spending my time in Nordstrom or the outlet malls. 

I've been to Vegas plenty of times but I can't help but feel I might be missing out on something while shopping the whole time. We always try to maximize our time there by getting tickets to a show, dinner in a great restaurant or two and always a night out at a club but what else is there to do? (I realize that sounds like a ridic question...) And we only ever seem to go for around 3 days so I suppose the tour of the Hoover Dam/Grand Canyon is a no go (as much fun as that sounds...)

I'm NOT a gambling woman so the casino is out. Money should only be spent on a sure thing like shoes! I cannot handle losing things. Especially money. 

{boring?}

So tell me lovely readers, what do you recommend doing in Vegas?

 I only have a weekend, and I'll likely be by myself most of the time (sounds like a blast right?)

 Lay your ideas on me, what do you like to do while in Vegas? What's fun, interesting, exciting,,,even if it's all a bit cheesy. It is Vegas after all. 

I'm up for anything (minus male strippers, that's no fun going to alone. So I hear.) 

{not this time thanks}

Eat nothing...

Christmas is winding down around here and things are finally getting back to normal after an über busy December. Normally I'd be kinda lamenting the fact that Christmas is over but I'm still looking forward to a few more family get togethers after New Years.  Yes more food and wine.

Question: how is one supposed to lose 10 lbs by January 6th when the fattening food won't go away?

  (Why the seasonally inappropriate quest for rapid weight loss you ask, we haven't even hit New Years yet?)
 Its because Mama and Husband are off to Vegas the first week of January and while we're there my plan is to find some serious dealz shopping for clothes, clothes and more clothes. 

 However I've apparently (over the last month) managed to eat a third of my total body weight in Ferrero Rocher, cheese and red wine. 

Obviously one solution is to maintain the December status quo and just continue eating, but then walk the Vegas Strip and shop till my legs fall off, thus burning off the extra el-bees that have recently decided to call my muffin top "home." 

Or I could pull a Bethenny Frankel and "Taste everything, Eat Nothing."

{What does that mean? Like literally eat nothing at all?  Well she did shed all her baby weight in 3 weeks...}

Let's keep it real here. I shall continue to eat, and I'll in all likelihood not drop 10 pounds by January 6th. However the elliptical trainer and me are gonna be on a first name basis. Hopefully?

What is your plan for the post holiday slim-down?

Just like Olivia Newton John, let's get Physical....ok?

I haven't spent much time talking about the ongoing "Massive Weight Loss 2010."  As always, "massive" is a huge misnomer but I'd like to think that big titles will equal big results?!  I got my starve on before we left for Greece this summer but after that I've kinda been in a holding pattern as far as working out and eating really "clean" are concerned. Well no more friends. It's time to get crack-a-lackin' (again) and get my derriere back to the gym (consistently, no, once a week isn't good enough.)
 Turkey fest Thanksgiving, and candy binge Halloween are behind us and there's honestly not a lot going on in November so what better time then now to work on my fitness? My pre-New Years resolution is to do my darnedest to not gain a mountain of el-bees over the Christmas season.  And if anything, by creating a buffer of sorts now (fitness and weight-wise) then I can deal with the inevitable indulgences (read: chocolate, cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, egg-nog) that are coming my way next month while still fitting into any dresses I may want to wear to Christmas parties. (Currently my calendar is open and I'm accepting party invites, feel free to send them my way...)

Lets talk strategy...

{80's aerobics? No, no leotards necessary. I'm talking about working out at the gym 3+ times a week}

+

{Salads salads and more salads. Insert fork here}

+

{No devil foods}

=

{Things I'd like to wear for the many many parties I'll be attending. Cuz I'm popular like that...?}

What are your plans/stategy for handling the deliciousness and  indulgence that comes with the Holiday season??

Jennifer Hudson is looking fierce

Can we take a minute to discuss how fantastic Jennifer Hudson looks since she's shed the el-bees on Weight Watchers? (Yes, she's just another in a long line of celebs who are being paid to endorse a weight-loss program.)

 Actually more than anything I'm really loving her style. I saw her latest WW ad last night on TV and she is looking amazing (pics aren't available of it yet).  But here's a clip from her new campaign to fight hunger for children in the US.  I am lurving her look...jeans and heels, fresh natural makeup and a gorgeous lip colour. She's looking divine!

Operation Starvation

Operation Starvation v. 2.0 has commenced. We're leaving for the motherland in 2 weeks and the beach has been whispering to me, "Mammaaa, I'm sunny, hot and invitinggggg, but don't you dare even think about planting your rear on my fine white sand unless you look good in that bathing suittttttttttttt...."  

Very eery, as you can imagine. That beach is a bitch. 

So since I don't need the beach talking smack to me, the only answer is to get this booty in shape, double-time. I'm at the gym 3 times/week and if the stoopid weather would cooperate I'd be out walking with the boys in the evening. But since this is Canada and I live near the mountains it's freezing a$$, like 13 degrees celsius right now. I'd rather stay inside and eat cheese, thank you very much!

That aside after 2 years of points counting, calorie counting, reduced fat/carb/taste I'm running out of ideas and need to pull out all the stops. No, Kim Kardashians' Quick trim devil products will NOT be involved in this operation. But I will take a little help from my friends....

Instead of my beloved breakfast cereal I'm moving onto eggs in the morning. I find eggs a bit hard to choke down in the a.m. but whatevs, I've got no time for sugary carbs in my world. 

Salads from McDonalds. Ok before you go asking, "why don't you make your own dang salad Mama?" I'm buying them because I've made 104 742 salads in my lifetime. YES that many, no I'm not exaggerating. I'm sick of making salads so it's time to buy some from McDicks or even Wendy's.  They're cheap and easy and tasty. Does that sound bad?

Laughing Cow cheese. It's creamy, portion controlled and low-cal. Yum.

And here is a run down of the ENEMY.  The food that I will be avoiding like harem pants, cluster diamond rings and Carrot Top's stand-up act, etc. etc....

{Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc. I love you baby. Mama says good bye for now. But we'll be together again soon...real soon...}

{Pasta with Seafood. You be good too while Mama's gone. Sniff. }

{Mexican. You know how much you mean to me. Don't be sad guacamole, I'm not gone forever. Just a few months weeks. And Taco Bell, I'll miss you too lots and lots...}

Whatever it takes to successfully complete Operation Starvation v. 2.0.  If you know me you know that there won't actually be any starvation happening. But it sounds good in theory. Please PLEASE share your rapid weight loss tricks/ideas/voodoo magic...